Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Say something about gay babies.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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