Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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