NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
