Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
