It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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