I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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