I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
