She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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