Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
