Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
