Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
