I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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