You just made me feel so damn special
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
