Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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