it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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