ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You are a genius and a whore.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
