I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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