Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
