I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
