worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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