Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize