dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
