Christians are straight up FREAKS
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just found puke in my bra..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
