The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
