I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
