I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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