I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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