Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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