Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Alive.
So much puke
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
