We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
