I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
