I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
