Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize