about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Someone shattered a urinal.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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