I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
