Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
