Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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