why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
