I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
