grandma shit on top of the toilet
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
