we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
