She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
