i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
