their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
