Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
