Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
