Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
