remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
