It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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