butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
