Your face is a jimmy john
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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