i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize