Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
