Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
