I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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