guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm passing your future prison.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
