I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
