I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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