Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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