I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
