we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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