sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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