i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize