is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize