Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
