Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My first STD was from a foam party
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
